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Tuesday, February 24, 2009 1:33 PM

I had a bet; an agreement; a pact.

If I do well for Accounting, my friend will quit smoking.

That was why I really studied very hard for Accounting for the past few days.
I want my friend to quit smoking badly, very badly.
I had so much confidence.
I was sure that my friend will have to quit it.haha.
But I think my friend can continue smoking,& add a new smoking partner.

Reason cause yesterday night, I just lost everything, my motivation.
Subconsciously, I think I gave up already.
I didn't want to go for the exam.
I wanted to drink.
I wanted to smoke.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to die.

I couldn't sleep; worrying about my ever bleak future.

Even though Modern Penpal kept persuading me to go & sleep & forget about it, my mind was in a swirl.

Thinking probably I should be a Chinese tuition teacher?
Learn more languages & be a linguist like Tristan.
Go back to HK now & start everything anew.
Or continue to live in my own happy world?
Or have lots of hope in the Tourism industry and pray that they will grab me once I graduate?
Or even pretending that I have ever so great passion& interest for this course that I would strive hard to survive in this superficial & materialistic industry, like how I would look like in job interviews?

Thanks Nate, but I really am giving up.
Sounds like I chose to run away from problems :)

I should have taken photography & grow to be a paparazzi in future.

This card is commonly misconstrued and does not specifically pertain to physical death. The Death card signifies change in your life brought about by the ending of a current situation and the beginning of a new one. While the card itself may be morbid, it actually represents exciting change in your life. Be prepared for new and exciting situations to develop.

My tarot card for today from Facebook.
Okay, let's see how it goes.